“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30 ESV)
During my father’s recent home hospice journey, I, the sole caregiver, found myself driven to my breaking point. Push anything to its limits, and it will break down. My ’69 Volkswagen Beetle will attest to that. Proud as she was, there was a limit to what she could withstand, and over time she too fell to the demands that were put on her.
Sleep deprived, I found myself wandering away from some of my basic daily necessities. I know some who will find this unbelievable, but days passed without me picking up a guitar… or writing,,, or even reading. Irritable, cranky, and certainly tired were all honest descriptive words that could have been attached to my behavior and or mood. Think twenty-eight days with only intermittent sleep.
Serving wasn’t the issue, but seeing clearly was. In my attempt to be all things at all times to my father, I neglected my own health and well being.
“Six days you shall work, but on the seventhly you shall rest.” (Exodus 34:21 ESV)
So as God would have it, eighteen hours before his last breath, I woke from an hour nap to find myself broken health wise. I was unable to think clearly, my throat was sore, and my body was an aching mess.
Now tired I could do, but broken I couldn’t.
Yes, God found a way to school me even in my father’s last waking hours.
Guilty I am for not leaning enough on Him; guilty I am of not heeding His words concerning rest, and guilty I am of not trusting in His love.
“For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.” (Jeremiah31:25 ESV)
I went to bed the night after his passing to rest. I went to bed repeating God’s words of wisdom. I went to bed to satisfy my weary soul, and to be replenished.